Birthday REFLECTIONS ...

My journey to recovery began in 2017.  In looking back, it has been a circular pathway. At times it has felt like a puzzle to untangle the interconnected symptoms, behaviors and mental health challenges. 
 
"The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are" is one of my favorite quotes from Carl Gustav Jung. Walking a pathway in recovery has been a privilege. Becoming who I truly am is a process of discovery and change that never ends.

Looking at my past, being open and honest, learning the psychology and science behind my mental health and behavior are how I have been able to grow and change.  This has felt hard, painful, and at times like I was going nowhere.  

For a long time I was stuck on the question of "Why" ... for me this was the chicken or the egg question. Which came first? If only I knew "why," then the problem would be solved. It would just disappear. The truth for me is that I will never know which came first; the life experiences that shaped the maladaptive coping behaviors or the underlying mental health conditions. I have laid that question aside.

Today I live differently. I treat myself with kindness and try to understand who I am, how I think and what I'm feeling. I have many healthy coping tools and techniques that allow me to manage my life in a way that is balanced, peaceful and happy ... it's not "perfect" 

My life is beautifully messy and hard sometimes. 2024 was an especially hard year. I cried a lot, my anxiety and depression were scary.  I experienced grief, loss and betrayal.  Thankfully I had established recovery before this "life quake" and that work saved me.  Having a lot of healthy ways to manage feelings and cope is a gift. 

Practicing new habits takes time and we are all human. Perfect does not exist. This one life I have is very precious, but it's not easy.  In recovery I found the right people, the right tools and the right combination of coping techniques for me to live a balanced life that is truly amazing. 

Peer support is one of the keys to my mental health and wellness. I can't do this alone. You don't have to either. Contact me if you want to learn more about how we can work together.