Vision Board

What do I want my life to look like?  What is my vision?  Honestly, most of my life I had no idea.  Life was happening around me and I was there, doing stuff in that life, but I was not truly present or connected.  I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t happy.  Spoiler alert:  the most important relationship in my life I had been ignoring, devaluing and making small.  That relationship is the one with self.  

Today, I have a very good relationship with myself.  I actually like me.  I know why I do things, think things and feel things. I know what I like to do for fun, what activities I enjoy and which people I want to have in my life. Old me had none of those skills and so I made choices, participated in activities, achieved what I thought sounded good or looked good. A lot of times I wanted what everyone else thought was valuable to attain or have.   

Externally validated and emotionally and impulse driven, I had no deep connection or alignment to choices, decisions, outcomes or values.  I went to therapy for the first time in 2017 and couldn’t name a single thing I liked to do or one thing I liked about myself.  That was scary to admit but finally it was honest.  

Four years after that, I put myself first and did the work of healing and recovery.  This time I changed. I was ready to leave behind all the things that hadn’t been working and find out who I was so I could live a life worth living, not one I existed through.   

Today I embrace that everything is temporary: feelings, situations, relationships, jobs, health, it all changes. The relationship with myself however I will have forever.  If I want peace, contentment, meaning, happiness, the ability to walk through hard things, connect with others, have purpose, then my relationship with myself needs to be nurtured.

Lifequakes often expedite change, radical acceptance and transformation. Some lifequakes we initiate, like when I put my mental health and recovery first in 2021 and others happen to us and are not by choice. In both cases I have come out the other side closer to the person I want to be. In 2024, I found my vision of what the next half of my life was going to look like.

I started making small choices towards that vision.  I decided I was going to enjoy the journey to get there.  I decided I wanted to live by certain values in both word and action. I decided I want a life that has purpose, balance and hope.  I want people in my life that deserve my trust and that have the capacity to be honest. I want meaning. I want community and I want to give back.  

If you want to invest in yourself and start creating the life you want, please contact me.