Hypervigilance

I didn’t know the word “hypervigilance” when I was four and anxiously looked out my bedroom window at night. My dad was out there, somewhere.  I thought if I watched and wished and prayed, I could make my dad come home. Sometimes it worked. This is where I believe my anxiety began.  

I never talked about this worry with anyone, but my worries increased as I grew-up.  

Hypervigilance is the elevated state of constantly assessing potential threats around you. It is often the result of a trauma. Children tend to go into overthinking as a coping mechanism to have a sense of control and safety. It feels like protection to avoid further trauma. 

When I look at the symptoms, I visualize a line and the ends are the extremes, low to high. Sometimes the feelings and behaviors are non-existent. Other times they are in the background, like a low hum, but not overly disruptive.  Then I have times where the intensity of the feeling is very challenging to manage.

• Perpetual fight-or-flight feelings  

• Hyper-fixation on your surroundings

• Hyper-fixation on the thoughts and feelings of the people around you

• Hyper-fixation on your own body or mind

• Catastrophizing

• Avoidant behavior

• Insecurity

You can read more about the physical, mental and behavioral impact of hypervigilance here https://health.clevelandclinic.org/hypervigilance

I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder when I was 45.  Did my anxiety contribute to my drinking, and my depression?  Most likely, yes. Mental health and substance use disorders are often co-occurring. The overthinking and anxious feelings were constant most of my life, always a level of fear that something bad was going to happen. The journey to change my thinking patterns and the associated behaviors began with this diagnosis.  

Recovery is not a straight line and change takes time, patience and consistent effort.  The tools and techniques that work for me may not work for you, or they may not work right now. I found I had to be open to trying different approaches to manage my anxiety and the hypervigilant symptoms.  I have found that a combination of tools, skills, approaches and support works best.  There is no magic pill or method that works universally. The more tools I have, the better I can manage my anxiety and the more options I have to pull from in the moment when the feelings hit suddenly.

At points in my journey, I have incorporated therapy, psychiatry and medication. I have also incorporated a variety of self-care practices.  Meditation, grounding and breathwork did not come naturally but over time I have found these very helpful. Learning about mental health is also a tool. Peer support and community continues to be how I maintain my mental health.  

If you would like to talk about your stressors, overthinking or anxious thought patterns, or discuss coping tools that work for anxiety, please contact me for a free consultation.